SongVault Artist Profile

‘LOW EXPECTATIONS’
Outlandish, neurotic and heart-felt alt-country & rock ‘n’ roll
Bob Baker

Bob Baker’s heroes include the guy who writes a letter to the DMV asking for a “handicapped” parking permit on grounds that his heart is broken:

Since she left I’m a human frown
Can’t stand up for falling down
I lost a hundred points off my credit score, so
How can you ignore
This handicap?

Then there’s the guy who explains to his psychologist why low expectations keep him sane:

When life hands me lemons
It’s lemons they stay
When I go to trial I don’t get off like O.J
When I come on to a woman she rejects me at first sight
I expect nothing and I’m always right

And the guy who dreams that he has insomnia:

There’s a black jagged pit of dreams rubbed raw
And a man whose body aches
So tormented by some nameless phobia
That he thinks he’s still awake

And the guy who can’t figure why he just got dumped.

I’m feeling kinda blindsided
by the drop-dead letter you wrote
Is it something I did? Why did you throw me in the moat?”

And the creep who celebrates getting “an e-mail from a female,”and tries to lure an under-aged girl on the Internet:

“Open it up, wop boom bam, praying so hard that it ain’t spam
…It ain’t spam, it’s a girl named Gwen
Asking me do I want to I.M.?
I got an e-mail from a female
I got an e-mail from a female
I got an e-mail from a female
Maybe she’ll be the one

Once in a while, some of these guys develop a conscience or a backbone. Like the one who refuses to take a cheating girlfriend back and wishes that four grotesque scenarios befall her. Or the one who vows to stop settling for being “almost there.” Or the country singer who can’t wait to tell his mother that his struggling band finally made an audience dance. Or the guy who is still consumed by 9/11:

Half the world is crazy, and the other half is scared
When it comes to dying, they’re religiously prepared
They cross the street on red lights,
they don’t look the other way
So confident they’re never gonna make it through the day
They used to love to greet the dawn, but nowadays they hurl
Epithets at sunrise-- there’s a madness in the world.

“Low Expectations” is available through the website CDBABY.COM. To listen and buy, click:
http://cdbaby.com/cd/bakerbob